vejgeta9 (vejgeta9) wrote in blackpearlslash,


As I had writer's block from cranking out the first four chapters in three days, I decided to take a break from my other fic, and write this. I hope you like it and laugh as hard as I did!!

POTC Humor
Pairings: All more or less.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Pirates of the Caribbean, but I do own the Idea behind this drabble!! (Takes LARGE swig of rum.) Ok… lets get this overwith…

Will woke up with a throbbing headache and a foot in his mouth. ‘God… I will never, ever, ever, EVER challenge Jack to another drinking contest. Hmm… a foot… must be Jack’s… Awfully hairy, though… never noticed that.’ He lifted the blankets and found that the foot was connected to… “PIBBS!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! Pibbs sat up. “Looks like I’m gettin' me toes licked. And jus' when I thought yer tongue couldn’t do any more tricks!” Will was flabbergasted. ‘My tongue?! How could this happen? I feel sick… and used…’ Another body moved nearby. “GILLETE?! BUT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE DAULTLESS!!” “Well, I stole away for a night and a good thing too. Never knew you had an insatiable sexual appetite!” Will’s stomach did a flip. ‘I don’t believe it! I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!’ There was now another body moving to his right. “RAGETTI? Oh don’t tell me that I fucked him, too?” “Nay, t'was ME that did th' fuckin', lad!” he said, just before his eye popped out. “Lick me eye again so I can pop it back in th' socket!!” Will’s face turned a pale shade of green. But he didn’t have time to contemplate his ill feelings, because another head popped up. “NORRINGTON?! OH, FUCK ME!! NOT YOU TOO!!” “Yes, yes, yes. Don’t think for a moment that my cabin boy would get first crack at the ass that’s rated ‘Most likely to cause mutiny on the high seas because it’s most fuckable’. And I must say that it lived up to my expectations, your ass that is.” “But I thought I was your first mate?” Gillette whined. “Come now, you know that after Miss Swann, Governor Swann, and now Will here, that you have the most fuckable piece of ass. And, I’d be delighted to fuck you again, seeing as I’ve already fucked you once.” Will’s head was spinning. This was unbelievable, no inconceivable. It made no sense. But before he could think any further, another head popped from under the blankets. “MR. COTTON!!! There’s no way I fucked that!!” Mr. Cotton’s Parrot flew to his shoulder. “Wind in his sails, wind in his sails!” “He said that ye didn’t say that last night!” said Pibbs, as Mr. Cotton started jumping on the bed, his wrinkled cock flopping around. Will turned a vile shade of green. The room was spinning, and he felt completely ill. But, no time for that, because someone was getting up off the floor. “Yeah, he sure didn’t say that last night. Thought he’d kill me, but that can’t happen since I’m already dead.” “BARBOSSA?!! I can’t take it…” Will turned an even darker green. “,But ye said THAT last night, surprised us all, didn’t ye lad” he said with a laugh. Will felt faint. There was only one explanation for this. “JACK!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” “Over here, luv. An stop shoutin!! Ye did enough of that last night, all that moanin' and groanin', ye did. A real turn-on it was, lad.” Will was stunned. “You… you knew… But why? I thought we were practicing monogamy?” Jack looked at him. “Well, we sort of figured t'was a guideline. Now come here, whelp!!” “HELL NO!! NO REPEATS OF LAST NIGHT!!” Will shouted as he jumped out the bed. But before he could make it to the door, he saw…”ANNA MARIE!!! THANK GOD!! HELP ME!!” “I don’t participate. I jus' watch. Told ye that last night!!” Will stopped for a moment, stunned again, then started back running for the door. “GET HIM!!!” they all shouted, and dragged him back to the bed.

*Yes, I know that was sick about Mr. Cotton, but I had to add it in!!*
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